My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life!
I see your face when I am dreaming
That’s why I always wake up screaming!
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not!
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you because I was pissed!
I always thought I could love no other
That is, you see … til I met your brother!
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowls’s empty and so is your head!
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off your face!
I love your smile, your face and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe: “Go to hell”!
What inspired this amourous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime