Posts

Posted on

Have you got any small McDs or BK toys spare? Please Read!

Heres an email from a friend, can you help him out?

Do you guys know anyone (singular or plural) that has McDonalds or Burger king toys and figures and plastic animals or that sort of thing (any really) they no longer want? I am looking for as many as i can get to use in a video project over the next couple of months. I need heaps. Any i do not use or have finished with will end up being given to preschools etc. If you know of anyone get them to drop them off if they can or if you can collect any and dump them here that would be great or Post to

Lance,

PO Box 768,

Hamilton.

Names etc would be great with them so i can give credit at the end.

Making a number of videos that will be educational and funny, covering Maori language and myths and legends and a few other (non-Maori) stories.

Posted on

My name is Fred, just Fred

fredA cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

‘Fred,’ he replies.

‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.

‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.  The Officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, so stay with me.’  I was born FredDingaling.  I know — a funny last name.  The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.  When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.  I went through college,
medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school..  Dentistry was my dream!  Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the   ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.  Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD.  Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my  MD  because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am just Fred.’

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Posted on

How to prevent children for the Irish and Australian

After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn’t afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children..

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.

A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The husband said to the doctor, “B’Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don’t see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem.”

“Trust me, it will do the job”, said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5,” at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand…………………………..

This procedure also works in Australia.