Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?

Received this gem in an email being forwarded 🙂


Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn’t help but send this along. Too funny.


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
—————- ———————————

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

That’ll teach’m to be dropouts!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

And the winner is….
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

One line ASCII art for Twitter, IRC, Facebook etc

Was hunting about for some of this recently and was unable to find any decent other than a few here or there. So I combined them all into one page.

\-o-/      Bat
><>      Fish
><(((('>      Fish
/><{{{{">       Fish
ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmo'      Millipede
----{,_,">         Mouse
~~~~~~^~~~~~       Shark
__@/       Snail
/-o-\          Spider
/\o/\          Spider
///\oo/\\\           Spider (or some kind of bug)
_/\,     Worm
_/\__/\__0>   Worm
\-o-/  Bat
/-o-\   Spider
=^..^= Kitty cat 
@( * O * )@ Koala
_mmmP    Loch Nes monster 
<:3 )~~~ Mouse (top view) 
<^__)~~ Mouse (side view) 
c---I-I-I-I{  Scorpion
<(^.^)> happy cat
<(@.@)> cat who stayed up too late
<(o.O)> confused cat
,/\,/\,/\,/\,/\,/\,o  Caterpillar
<`)))>< Fish  ¸.·´¯`·.´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸><(((º>    Fish Swimming
<(^.^)> Happy Cat 
=^..^= Kitty cat 
@( * O * )@ Koala 
@('_')@ Monkey
°l°(,,,,);  Sheep 
///\oo/\\\  Spider 
<(*)><<<<<< - bird 
And it's fun to do a mirror image of two animals facing each other
----{,_,"><",_,}---- Are they kissing or facing off WWE style? "I'm gonna git you, sucka!" 
Or even better yet, let's have a mouse face off with a worm!
\-o-/ Sleepy person
/-o-\ Sleepy person
(>n_n)><(n_n<) - Hug
d(OwO)b - Listening to music
ô¿ô -   Staring at you
(=.=)~   sleeping
---=======[}   Pie fight
(^_^)'/ waving
O-/-<]: - skateboarding
(@_@) Concerned / Stoned / Stressed
ô¿ô Looking at you
^_^ Very Happy 
[^_^] Very Happy 2 
(-.-)Zzz... Sleeping 
[{-_-}] ZZZzz zz z... Sleeping Baby w/Pillow 
8==8 dog bone
[_]3 Cup of coffee
-@-@- Glasses
|==|iiii|>----- Needle
(===||:::::::::::::::> Sword
@->- small rose 
<3 Heart ())__CRAYON___)) >
@-}-- Rose 1 
@}}>----- Rose 2 
@)}---^-----   Rose 3 
@->-->--- Rose 4 
--------{---(@  Rose 5 
d[ o_0 ]b Robot 
^i^ Angel 
•°o.OO.o° » Your name « °o.OO.o°•
(¯`·._.·(¯`·._.·(¯`·._.· Your Name ·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)
»-(¯`·.·´¯)->NAME<-(¯`·.·´¯)-« - 
`°º¤ø,¸ ¸¤,¸ ¸,ø¤°'º´  
(¯`·._.·(¯`·._.·(¯`·._.· Your Text ·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯)
̿ ̿ ̿̿'̿̿\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/'̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿
___________________/\_____________\0/_______'' Help Shark''
________ ▄█▀ ▀█▀ ▄▀▄ █▀ █▄█▄█ ▄▀▄ █▀ ▄█▀_________
\,,/(^_^)\,,/ Rock on
,,!,,(^_^),,!,, F-off