funny – Page 3 – LizQuilty.com

February 4, 2010February 4, 2010

Changing the New Zealand Flag – Humour

As a child, i grew up in a normal New Zealand school (several actually!) , the one thing we really hated doing drawing was the new zealand flag.

First you had to get blue paper, or colour the whole damned thing blue (which took HOURS), Then do a square of some sort on the top left and do your cross inside that. Then once you had that you put the diagonal lines through the cross. It was about then you realized the flag actually has white lines either side of the cross and they are already coloured in so you would madly try and get that in. Then you had to try and guess where the stars went and if it was NZ that had 5, or Australia? and how come Australia have a 5th star? are we abnormal ? can we not count ? does this make them better than us?

Eventually we would end up with something that looked like this

Not so pretty huh? but now apparently we have a Maori flag, to be honest most people in NZ are not Maori, and that’s just as hard to draw!

So now there is suggestion that we have a whole NEW flag, at which point i thought AHHH!!! BRILLIANT!

Now we can be like overseas flags, using just 3 stripes (only 3 crayons and a ruler required!!), or even like the Japanese with a large round polka dot (looks like somebody head butted it!).

I have to say, even Switzerland have a brilliant flag, which is easy to draw, even if it does get mistaken for a first aid stop!

If we decide on using the Union Jack again maybe we can simplify it. Stripes seems to be a fairly common theme according to wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallery_of_striped_flags

so I’ve come up with a few ideas of my own. All are simple and easy to draw, I have tried to make them as Modern as possible, and they should appeal to Maori and White New Zealanders and really anyone online. The best one I believe is the more simple one. Easy for kids to draw, easy for anyone to identify with because im sure EVERYONE has felt this way before.

What is it you ask?

Post your ideas in the comments – including pics! 🙂

ps. This is said in humour, entirely in jest. No offence is meant to anyone.

November 6, 2009

Girlie Wisdom – Pass it on!

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but she doesn’t really care.. 😀

2. One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today…

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet, for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’ …..Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

12.. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then they marry him.

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day!

November 4, 2009

The new Mouse especially designed for woman

After years of research, scientists have discovered that women do not like the standard mouse given away with PC’s. Scientists found that there is not a physical reason for their aversion; It is more of a Psychological problem.

Some women reported that their mouse ‘just didn’t feel right’ in their hands. Based on the research,a new mouse has been designed especially for women.

Various field tests have been carried out on the new design:

Julie From Hounslow said:-

‘It feels so much better. More comfortable, more like how it’s supposed to be’

Susan
From Chelmsford added:-

‘I think mice were originally designed just for men, but this new type is definitely made for women. It fits right in with my lifestyle’

Hillary
From Kent :said –

‘I took to it like a duck to water, every woman should have one’!

Sally
From London Said

“It feels so natural”