Tag: Humour

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Changing the New Zealand Flag – Humour

As a child, i grew up in a normal New Zealand school (several actually!) , the one thing we really hated doing drawing was the new zealand flag.

First you had to get blue paper, or colour the whole damned thing blue (which took HOURS), Then do a square of some sort on the top left and do your cross inside that. Then once you had that you put the diagonal lines through the cross. It was about then you realized the flag actually has white lines either side of the cross and they are already coloured in so you would madly try and get that in. Then you had to try and guess where the stars went and if it was NZ that had 5, or Australia? and how come Australia have a 5th star? are we abnormal ? can we not count ? does this make them better than us?

Eventually we would end up with something that looked like this

Not so pretty huh? but now apparently we have a Maori flag, to be honest most people in NZ are not Maori, and that’s just as hard to draw!

Maori Flag

So now there is suggestion that we have a whole NEW flag, at which point i thought AHHH!!! BRILLIANT!

Now we can be like overseas flags, using just 3 stripes (only 3 crayons and a ruler required!!), or even like the Japanese with a large round polka dot (looks like somebody head butted it!).

French Flag Germany Flag Italian Flag Japanese Flag

I have to say, even Switzerland have a brilliant flag, which is easy to draw, even if it does get mistaken for a first aid stop!

If we decide on using the Union Jack again maybe we can simplify it. Stripes seems to be a fairly common theme according to wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallery_of_striped_flags

so I’ve come up with a few ideas of my own. All are simple and easy to draw, I have tried to make them as Modern as possible, and they should appeal to Maori and White New Zealanders and really anyone online. The best one I believe is the more simple one. Easy for kids to draw, easy for anyone to identify with because im sure EVERYONE has felt this way before.

What is it you ask?

Exclaimation Mark

Post your ideas in the comments – including pics! 🙂

ps. This is said in humour, entirely in jest. No offence is meant to anyone.

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My name is Fred, just Fred

fredA cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

‘Fred,’ he replies.

‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.

‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.  The Officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, so stay with me.’  I was born FredDingaling.  I know — a funny last name.  The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.  When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.  I went through college,
medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school..  Dentistry was my dream!  Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the   ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.  Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD.  Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my  MD  because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am just Fred.’

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.