Letter to mum – Sorry about that bad report

Another email going around, I think i should have tried this one šŸ˜€

A mother passing by her daughterā€™s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, ā€œMom.ā€ With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that Iā€™m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. Iā€™ve been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But itā€™s not only the passion Mom, Iā€™m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and thatā€™s now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesnā€™t really hurt anyone and weā€™ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, weā€™ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Donā€™t worry Mom, Iā€™m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday Iā€™m sure weā€™ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. Iā€™m over at the neighborā€™s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card thatā€™s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.