A Little Christmas Story – Funny

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Funny Painting of 3 men story … NSFW

An older couple at an art exhibition were staring at a painting that
had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a
pink penis.
They asked the curator of the gallery for an interpretation.He explained how it represented the sexual emasculation of African-Canadians in predominately white, patriarchal society.
“In fact,” he pointed out,”some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.

After the curator left, a man with a noticeable maritime accent approached the couple and said, “Would yous’ like to know what the painting is really all about?”

The couple looked at the man with some degree of suspicion……
How & why” asked the couple, “could you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of this gallery?”
“Because I’m the guy who painted it,” he replied. “In fact, there’s no African-Americans shown here at all.
They’re just three Cape Breton coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.

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