So, Guys may not want to read this, or anyone whos squeemish.
My daughter is going on womanhood, and been going through all the usual changes. Explaining how to put a pad into her knickers was easy enough and a diagram of basic facts was over pretty quick. Most of the embrassing stuff we managed to muddle through. Then on the weekend she had to go to a friends birthday party. It was a pool party, and for her, the wrong time of month.
So i suggested perhaps she try a tampon … a fairly normal idea for a girl. So she agreed, we figured because she was active she wouldnt have much or any Hymen to get in the way.
So she goes into the bathroom, comes out a bit later and asks ..’where do i put it?’ and im like going ‘ummm ….. in the middle hole ….. you know theres a rear hole for poop, and the lip/fold things …’ lets just say i was really red faced, but ended up making her go look in a mirror and have a good self examination.
She sorted it out thank god, the whole idea of ‘what hole’ though never occurred to me before i suppose (i forget how exactly i learnt!). Anyway this isnt what my post was about so much ….
Im donating a kidney to my brother in the coming months, and they wanted to redo a liver function test and get results of the latest smear test. I was due to have smear test so booked in and went this morning.
So im laying there on the bed with nothing on the lower half, whilst the doctor is sitting there with a plastic speculum going in, and for some reason the thought ran through my mind ‘what if a gyno didnt know what hole?’
So of course im laying there giggling away and getting some really strange looks from the lady doing it, meanwhile im imagining replies of ‘well theres no sign of cancer … but your ecoli reading is off the roof!’