Girlie Wisdom – Pass it on!

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but she doesn’t really care.. ūüėÄ

2. One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today…

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet, for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’ …..Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

12.. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then they marry him.

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day!

The new Mouse especially designed for woman

After ¬†years of ¬†research, scientists have discovered that women do ¬†¬†not ¬†like the standard ¬†mouse ¬†given away with PC’s. Scientists found that ¬†there ¬†is not a physical ¬†reason for their aversion; It is more of ¬†a Psychological ¬†problem.

Some women ¬†reported that their mouse ¬†‘just didn’t feel right’ in ¬†their hands. Based on ¬†the research,a new mouse ¬†has been designed especially for women.

Various field tests  have been carried out on the  new  design:

Julie  From  Hounslow  said:-

‘It ¬†¬†feels so much ¬†better. More comfortable, more like how ¬†it’s supposed to ¬†be’

From   Chelmsford   added:-

‘I think mice were ¬†originally ¬†designed just ¬†for men, but this new type ¬†is definitely ¬†made for ¬†women. It fits right in with ¬†my ¬†lifestyle’

From ¬†¬† Kent ¬†:said ¬†–

‘I took to ¬†it ¬†like ¬†a duck to water, every woman should have ¬†one’!

From London  Said

“It feels so ¬†natural”

New Womans Only Mouse

My name is Fred, just Fred

fredA cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

‘Fred,’ he replies.

‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.

‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. ¬†The Officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, so stay with me.’ ¬†I was born FredDingaling. ¬†I know — a funny last name. ¬†The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades. ¬†When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. ¬†I went through college,
medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school..  Dentistry was my dream!  Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the   ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.  Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, with VD.  Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my  MD  because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am just Fred.’

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.